Next time you see your significant other. Take a deep breath, kiss them, then promptly blow all that air into their mouth.

Funniest shit ever.

The game is pretty simple. On a pure physical attraction level, rate the girl from a 1 to 10. Pretty much anything 7 and up signifies a person we’d like to spend the evening discussing current events to and cuddling with.

It gets complicated when we start picking girls to date. The numbers get fuzzy and other things become a factor. So, I’ve compiled a list of what constitutes bonus points.

• Smart - The opposite is stupid. And frankly, stupid chicks suck (like, the bad kind of suck). [+1 point]
• Plays video games - This is almost cheating for girls. Being able to spend an evening blowing things up as oppose to watching The Notebook is always super awesome. Girl gamers can easily stick themselves in a higher tier. [+2 points]
• Has a boyfriend - Some people attribute it to the forbidden fruit syndrome; I think its just because prettier girls have boyfriends already. And although they may cause me to subconsciously rate higher on a physical attraction level, these girls are a no go. [-4 points]
• Has a boyfriend, but he used to pick on me when we were in middle school - Bitch. [+3 points]
• Plays guitar, is half Japanese, and sings amazingly - [+2,905,624,760,912,574 points]

All that being said, this chick is a 2,905,624,760,912,584.

can make me smile.

I don’t even care if you didn’t mean it, thanks.

There was this really hot chick standing next to me in line. So, naturally, I started doing that thing I always do when I see hot chicks; I stare at them.

Admittedly, staring works better when you’re not standing right next to them.