If you spend too much time working out plan B, you’re going to need it.

So I found a post on craigslist for a 2005 civic for $4700. I figured I’d bite, I have nothing to lose. Who knows, maybe the battery died (hybrid vehicle) and he was too lazy to get a new one or something. I’d buy the car, fit it with a new battery and hopefully save a little.

I then get a reply that looks like this:

I apologize for the delay, I’m in the military and now I am in United Kingdom and that’s why I couldn’t reply in time. Anyway, thank you for your interest in buying the car. Why is the price so low? I am selling the car because I am here in UK with my work, and my regiment will be deployed in three weeks in Iraq and I think I’ll stay there for a whi…

LOL OK.

By the way, copy and pasting your scam e-mails fails

Update

2:12:03  9/10 ebzlo: http://rulebookoflife.com/2008/09/10/rule-really-no-free-lunch/
2:38:50  9/10 gssmason: so
2:38:53  9/10 gssmason: are u buying the car
2:39:43  9/10 ebzlo: no
2:39:44  9/10 ebzlo: ….
2:39:57  9/10 gssmason: y not

I can’t tell if he’s serious.

Every once in a while, I am transformed into a caretaker for various living animals. You might ask what kind of animals I’ve chosen to look after and well, there’s a problem: I hadn’t chosen to look after any.

It seems that leaving dirty dishes, food and all, in the sink will begin to house brilliant and various forms of unwanted vegetation. Having lived alone for 4 years, I’ve developed an understanding of this and now clean my dishes before the miracle of life takes place.

But that still doesn’t mean I do them right after I’ve eaten. For a week now, I’ve been living without plates, bowls, and cups (and not because I’m lazy!). Last week my sink took revenge. Everything that goes down my neighbor’s toilets seemed to have been regurgitated into my sink, flooding it with what appeared to be the main prop from a certain video involving two females and a cup.

That’s right. The whole thing is flooded. With my dirty dishes still in there, waiting for me to fulfill my responsibilities. The situation has now escalated beyond what my rubber gloves and Palmolive can mend.

I’ve called in a professional. And if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to exorcise a sink, you will soon have a person to reference.

Today (well, last night) was sparring in Tae Kwon Do and as luck would have it, I would be paired to fight the kid who remembered to drink milk everyday for the last 19 years of his life. Thirty seconds in, I throw a kick into his fucking knee and now I can’t walk anywhere without looking like a retarded pirate.

I guess it didn’t help that I repeatedly threw kicks at him, but seriously, I was wearing all the necessary protective gear and everything…or so I thought.

1. Protective head gear
2. Protective chest gear
3. Protective shin/feet gear <- this fails
4. Protective arm gear
5. Cup <- this better never fucking fail
6. Surgically implanted adamantite exoskeleton <- ah, that’s what I forgot

And by the way, this is the same foot I decided to use to kick a tree, with my bare foot, just a few weeks prior. In case anyone is wondering, my foot was not stronger than that tree by any means.

I have a couple friends who are going to be leaving to the east coast soon. This is gonna sound shitty, but the reason I’m writing about going away parties is because I remembered we didn’t have one for either of them.

Sorry!

Anyway, while sitting on my thinking chair today (toilet), I realized that there is a drastic difference between throwing a going a party before the person leaves…

and after he leaves.

So, today I found out that hiding behind my laptop so I can sleep doesn’t make me look like I’m working.

It also doesn’t help that I snore.